Election-ish Coverage

Tonight I will be live-blogging the election, sort of. I’m actually, going to be watching the highly underrated Home Movies. I’ll be drinking martinis and will be updating what I find interesting. Because. So, here we go.

My martinips are made by taking gin, reminding it that it met vermouth at a party once, and shaking before pouring over three olives.

7:06 – Most things too close to call. Brenden Small has been accused of being at fault for a bike riding accident and sentenced to write an essay.

7:14 – Brenden’s slapstick barbarian picture has been set back due to injuries from the accident. Also, So far only the expected states have been called. New Hampshire looks to be Obama so far.

7:16 – Any suggestions on barbarian-oriented jokes for Brenden’s movie? It needs more funny dialogue.

7:24 – The question: are long lines signs of voter suppression or voter enthusiasm? This is a good question, and I don’t see that it can’t be both. Attempts to keep people from voting bring them out in droves.

7:31 – Joe Manchin won Senate in West Virginia. Not a huge surprise, he’s as moderate as Democrats get. Indiana Senate too close to call.

7:34 – Coach McGurk is screwing things up for Brenden in court, but since it’s Home Movies, there’s only so much that changes things

7:43 – Yes, Bruce Boxleitner played Tron. Brenden did a pointed excoriation of the legal system instead of his essay.

7:49 – That episode done. Moving on. No change in the election.

7:58 – Ah, the classic “anger management” plot

8:06 – Haha! Bill Nelson in Florida. That’s the first relief of the night. We’re not complete morons down here.

8:12 – They’re talking about how Orange County used to be a swing county, but isn’t any more due to an influx of the Hispanic vote. I drove a lotof Hispanic voters to the polls, so we’ll see.

8:28 – Just finished talking to Charlie Crist. I miss the guy. A Republican that I didn’t hate. Chris Murphy wins Senate in CT, so thank you Connecticutites.

8:34 – Brenden is starting to question his absent father. So much symbolism.

8:40 – McGurk gets to stay on as soccer coach! He controlled his anger.

8:45 – Next Home Movies is about politics. Yes!

8:55 – Looks like Democrats are up one Senate seat.

9:05 – Brenden won, but resigned because he thought the class bully rigged the election for him

9:07 – when did Obama win Michigan? Awesome.

9:15 – Obama wins Pennsylvania. Why is this considered a swing state?

9:27 – Bev Purdue lost N. Carolina governor. Not surprised. The surprise was a Democrat ever winning there. Again, why is that a swing state? Also, Brenden is going to win the walk-a-thon.

9:30 – Obama wins Walkerville. On Wisconsin!

9:32 – Sherrod Brown wins Ohio Senate by a mile. Lawrence O’Donnell points out that Romney has lost three of his home states now.

9:42 – Elizabeth Warren in Massachusetts. I can’t believe that was at issue. Thinking the panhandle will give Florida to Romney, but we’ll see. Also, Joe Donnelly beats “rape is a gift from god” guy.

9:55 – The news is getting my hopes up about a possible Florida victory for Obama. Stop playing with my emotions, news!

10:07 – Another rape guy loses! Claire McCaskill wins in Missouri. I am happy to see all of these guys who want to qualify rape losing.

10:11 – Amendment 8 goes down! Thank you, and Floridians for standing up for secularism.

10:37 – Looks like Romney can only win by getting every swing state other than Colorado.

10:43 – Chuck Todd is talking about my old haunts. Obama wins in Minnesota. Brenden is trying to stop making movies for a little bit, but I think it’s doomed to failure.

10:46 – Legitimate Rape Akin is giving his concession. It’s a lot of god talk and meaningless platitudes. In fact, almost all of this is about God… And there’s a Benghazi reference. Basically, his concession is a greatest hits of dumb talking points

10:55 – Brenden and Jason have the best idea for future elections. Fight with jazz. Also, Tim Kaine in Virginia.

11:09 – Obama wins Iowa. That is very good news. Ohio and Florida are going to really be make or break now

11:13 – Obama wins Ohio and the presidency!

11:18 – We’re not done here. Still waiting on marriage equality votes and Kyrsten Sinema in Arizona.

11:37 – Sinema pulling further ahead with 51% of the vote in. Marriage equality might sweep tonight. No Prop 8 defeats this year, please.

11:52 – Carl Rove trying to get Fox to rescind their Ohio call. So very sad. Sinema still up. Obama pulling ahead in Florida! Colorado legalized pot.

12:10 – Colorado goes for Obama. Also, missed this in talks of presidential win, but Tammy Baldwin will be the first openly gay Senator!

12:19 – Maryland passes marriage equality!

12:37 – Rachel is poking fun at her cohosts for not telling her Colorado was called while she was in the bathroom. Tammy Duckworth wins. Alan Grayson wins (I worked for him)! Nutbars Michelle Bachmann and Allen West may just lose, both tied 50/50.

12:55 – Romney concession speech. He said he didn’t have one of these written. He pushes back on expected accusations that Ryan was a bad choice. Lots of thank yous, so this is good. Arguing for working together, one of his supporters doesn’t like that. Calling on teachers to inspire, I can get behind that. Pretty classy overall, if wooden. Good on him.

But more importantly, Kyrsten Sinema wins Az-9! That’s what I was waiting for, so I can go to bed now. Hopefully wake up tomorrow to more good news, but very happy about Representative Sinema!

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